Saturday, March 9, 2013

More Gun Intolerance News of the Future (Future...Future...Future)

The word is echoed as it fades away...

SCHOOL IN LOCKDOWN AFTER STUDENT DROPS PENCIL AND YELLS "SHOOT!"  CHILD TAUGHT TO SAY SHIT!

SACRAMENTS, Calif -- Three weeks ago, The Sacramento John Philpot Elementary School was in total lockdown after a student dropped his pencil and yelled "Shoot!" out of frustration.

"We were all shocked at the incident," said Ms Jensen, the student's math teacher.  "But our zero tolerance policy lists a few situations where Lockdown Protocol kicks in.  We are required to follow the Protocol to the letter without exception."

When asked about the Protocol the reporter was referred to the school spokesperson.

"We have a list of scenarios that trigger School Lockdown.   Examples of these are when an armed person is on campus.  We announce the Threat over the PA system and proceed with the call protocol."

When asked about this certain situation since there was no armed aggressor on campus she responded. "Well, we have no way of knowing whether there is or not.  We have our list of scenarios and words that trigger, uh sorry..I mean initiate... the Protocol. I apologize for that.  The word "trigger" is on the list."

She was then asked about the list of words.

"Words like SHOOT!  and POW!  and BANG!  These initiate the Protocol and require we lockdown the school and notify the authorities.  There are others such as BOOM! and KABLOOEY! but that is on a different list of words that tri..uh...initiate a slightly different protocol.

She was then asked how the school handles students in a situation like this.

"Well, it's quite easy - and mind you, we are very sensitive to situations like this.  We don't want to go overboard and have a student get a bad mark on his permanent school record.  Through the use of the School Counselor the child is first evaluated then sent to a two week re-education camp where he is taught more appropriate words to use than SHOOT!.

In this case, the student has been taught, and quite successfuly I might add, that he should yell out SHIT!"

We approached the student's parents about the situation to get their take.

"We can't believe it," said the father.  "We taught him to say SHOOT! because saying SHIT! was certainly not appropriate language for a nine year old.  Now we find out that it is?  That the school WANTS our son to say SHIT!?  What kind of nonsense is that?  What have we become?"

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