Saturday, March 9, 2013

Gun Intolerance News of the Future (Future...Future...Future)

The word is echoed as it fades away...

This story comes from the City of San Francisco, which now, due to the flight of all child rearing families, has only one grade school left.

SAN FRANCISCO, Cal. -- John Staglioni, whose family immigrated to San Francisco in the nineteenth century, was let go last week.  His wife and mother were stunned at the news.

"We still haven't figured out what we'll do next," Said Ms Staglioni.  "John is devastated."  She wiped the tears from her eyes as she spoke to this reporter.

Timmy Turner was the recipient of Staglioni's brutal tirade. Timmy, who is nine years of age, was minding his own business in class and throwing wads of paper at the other kids.

"He told me to stop and started yelling at me."

When asked what he thought brought this on little Timmy replied, "I have no idea.  He didn't yell at me the first four times he told me to stop."  Timmy shook his head bewildered.

"And that's when it happened," Timmy continued, "he got all red in the face the veins in the neck started sticking out. Then he pointed his finger at me like he was going to shoot me!"  Just recollecting the horror, had Timmy shaking.

"Then he started jabbing it into my face.  I thought it looked like a bayonet at the end of a rifle."  Timmy stood and started thrusting his little finger down at an angle, mimicking what Staglioni did.

"Then he held his arm straight out as he was yelling and pointing.  And his arm was sort of shaking.   And it sort of reminded me of a what a machine gun would do as it was firing."  He demonstrated again what it looked like.

When asked if Staglioni's thumb ever shot up in the typical "pistol trigger" formation he said, "Well, a little I guess.  Maybe it wasn't straight up and down.  Maybe it was a little sideways.  You know, like the guys in the gangster movies hold a gun."

Mr. Jensen, the official spokesperson for the Market Street Elementary School, released a statement:
We at MSES, take weapons on campus very, very seriously.  We have a zero tolerance policy and refer all violations to the SFPD.  This is not the first infraction of our policy and we will deal with them one at a time.
 When the SFPD were asked for a status report on the referral, this reporter was told that they were aware of the situation and were in the process of having him arrested for threatening a child with a deadly weapon on school property. "We consider this a very serious offense and will make an example of Mr. Staglioni."

No comments:

Post a Comment